I absolutely like speaking about Facebook rules. It constantly appears to be a questionable subject-- and for excellent reason. For the life of me I cannot figure out why individuals put so much stock into their Facebook life.
Facebook Add Friend
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even composed a short article called "Genuine" Buddies vs. Facebook Friends that talked about how developed a few of us get about adding "good friends" to our network.
However including friends to your list is all a part of the Facebook fun, right? Incorrect!
It's not a race, it's not a competition, and you should not be too excited to send a pal request to someone you simply met or just spoke with for seven seconds in the elevator. So, before you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have never talked to but see in the hallway every day - will accept your demand, let's draw back the veil of Facebook friendship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legitimately good friend somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Romance
Okay class, by a program of hands, the number of of you have stalked somebody on Facebook?
Begin now, I do not see every hand up ... since it should be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you search for a complete stranger, or somebody you loosely know, and take a self-guided trip of their page. The picture album entitled "Summer season 2013"-- do not mind if I do!
This particularly occurs when you will go on a date with somebody or have actually simply gone a very first date. So as you're exchanging stories about what you prefer to do on the weekends, a thought enters your mind, "Should I buddy them?" Then you teeter backward and forward, uncertain if you need to make the first move. It resembles a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain stating, "Naturally! Go for it, they'll like it!" and the opposite saying, "Wait ... I'll appear like a stalker."
After a date is over, you usually have a great idea of whether there will be a second date. And therein lies your response. If you can see this individual being a "good friend"-- either platonically or with advantages - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you think to yourself, "I'm not exactly sure I desire to see this individual once again," then the answer is probably "No" to including them as a Facebook buddy.
Let's be honest, you won't get an award for having 10,000 buddies on Facebook, and you will not be tossed out for having only 10. If you're stressed over whether to extend a buddy demand or not, make sure that you can genuinely call them a friend in the first location (or at least that they're someone with friend capacity). When you include a person to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll discover out if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every relocation ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this choosing more than a few dates or remaining "simply good friends," then go all out. However, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their request or extend one yourself. You do not owe a complete stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Office "Good friend".
Facebook in the workplace resembles diving in an old boat wreck-- you never ever understand exactly what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Good manners Man Facebook buddy, Mike, who asked me about friending a great young lady named Stephanie, who operates in the cube throughout from him. He stated she is amusing, always going to assist out a fellow coworker, never complains about needing to burn the midnight oil, and is generally the best colleague. However, the something Mike didn't discuss was that he's just been at this job for 6 days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Fantastic. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it ends up they have a lot in common. Oh, yeah, except for one small detail like in fact being good friends!
The office is no place to take threats with Facebook. If you are not buddies in genuine life, you cannot be pals on Facebook. It's that simple. So in Mike's case, I encouraged him to hold back until he had at least one conversation with Stephanie where they linked on a non-work concerns such as food, TV, movies, pastimes, and so on. This is where a real relationship happens. Not just discussing spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie got his pal request without ever having contact with him before, she would most likely believe three things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that guy across from me? We're not friends.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook simply to discover me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll know since we see each other every day and it will be uneasy. I do not like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are actually itching to make the "friend" relocation, start an enjoyable discussion on a regular basis - in individual. As you do this, raise something about Facebook like, "Oh, check this out, my friend simply published the funniest image of his puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting somewhere!
Then, while on the subject of Facebook, do not hesitate to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they react and aim to read it from there. Proceed even more if-- and just if-- you feel there is an actual friendship aside from, "Can you tell me where the meeting room is?".
Tip 3: Goofy Family members.
Here's a few facts about social media:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are utilizing social networks.
So there should be no surprise that Facebook specifically is no longer a "kid thing." Many older people are connecting to family members of all ages to link and catch up on the latest news in their life. Which's terrific!
Nevertheless, let's take a look at the case of one Modern Manners Guy fan called Angela. She is an avid "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her pals (her words). She jokes that she actually overshares sometimes. At a recent family gathering, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is 10 years older. Angela got house and sent a friend request, her cousin accepted, but things went south a week later on. Turns out, her cousin was not a big fan of Angela's lifestyle. This cousin would send out messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her options, her photos, her status updates. Suddenly, Angela ended up being Relative Enemy # 1, all because she posted swimsuit photos from her journey to Mexico.
The thing about relatives is that they tend to get a totally free pass when it comes to sharing their viewpoints of you. Pals may keep back, or be more secured with their feelings, however family members - man, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the method, I do not believe is reasonable - but that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not correctly determining your relationship with the person before sending a friend request. Friending someone on Facebook sounds really easy: "I like this person-- why not add them?" However, we have the tendency to forget that not everyone will appreciate our funny bone or what we share. When we good friend someone before finding out whether or not they're on our wavelength, we take the risk of angering them if they do not share our views. Always bear in mind that your innocent post might not be so innocent to someone with a different outlook on life. And now that you're "friends," they have the right to talk about it.