I absolutely love speaking about Facebook etiquette. It always appears to be a controversial topic-- and for excellent factor. For the life of me I can't find out why people put so much stock into their Facebook life.
How To Add A Friend On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even composed an article called "Real" Friends vs. Facebook Buddies that talked about how worked up a few of us get about adding "buddies" to our network.
But adding buddies to your list is all a part of the Facebook fun, right? Incorrect!
It's not a race, it's not a competitors, and you should not be too eager to send out a pal request to someone you just satisfied or only talked with for seven seconds in the elevator. So, prior to you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer system to see if Beth-- who you have never ever spoken with however see in the corridor every day - will accept your demand, let's pull back the veil of Facebook friendship.
Here are my leading 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how rapidly you can legally friend someone on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a program of hands, the number of of you have stalked someone on Facebook?
Come on now, I do not see each and every single hand up ... due to the fact that it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you search for a complete stranger, or someone you loosely understand, and take a self-guided tour of their page. The picture album entitled "Summertime 2013"-- do not mind if I do!
This especially occurs when you will go on a date with someone or have actually just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about exactly what you prefer to do on the weekends, a thought comes to mind, "Should I good friend them?" Then you teeter back and forth, not sure if you ought to make the very first move. It's like a social game of ping pong with one side of your brain stating, "Of course! Go for it, they'll love it!" and the opposite stating, "Wait ... I'll look like a stalker."
After a date is over, you generally have a great idea of whether there will be a 2nd date. And therein lies your answer. If you can see this person being a "buddy"-- either platonically or with advantages - then it's a yes. However, if you believe to yourself, "I'm unsure I wish to see this individual once again," then the answer is probably "No" to including them as a Facebook buddy.
Let's be sincere, you won't get an award for having 10,000 buddies on Facebook, and you won't be tossed out for having only 10. If you're worried about whether to extend a good friend demand or not, make sure that you can truly call them a good friend in the very first location (or a minimum of that they're somebody with friend capacity). When you include a person to your facebook circle, they'll see whatever you do. They'll learn if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every relocation ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this going for more than a few dates or remaining "just buddies," then go for it. However, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You do not owe a stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Workplace "Good friend".
Facebook in the office resembles diving in an old boat wreck-- you never ever understand what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Good manners Guy Facebook good friend, Mike, who asked me about friending a good girl named Stephanie, who works in the cube across from him. He stated she is funny, constantly ready to assist a fellow coworker, never ever complains about needing to work late, and is typically the best coworker. Nevertheless, the one thing Mike didn't point out was that he's just been at this job for six days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Wonderful. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it turns out they have a lot in typical. Oh, yeah, except for one small detail like actually being pals!
The office is no place to take threats with Facebook. If you are not good friends in real life, you cannot be friends on Facebook. It's that simple. So in Mike's case, I recommended him to hold back up until he had at least one discussion with Stephanie where they connected on a non-work concerns such as food, TELEVISION, movies, pastimes, and so on. This is where a real relationship happens. Not simply speaking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I informed him that if Stephanie got his pal demand without ever having contact with him before, she would most likely believe 3 things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that man across from me? We're not friends.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook just to find me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll understand since we see each other every day and it will be unpleasant. I don't like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are actually itching to make the "friend" move, start an enjoyable discussion regularly - in individual. As you do this, raise something about Facebook like, "Oh, check this out, my pal just published the funniest image of his pup on Facebook." Now we're getting someplace!
Then, while on the subject of Facebook, don't hesitate to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they respond and aim to read it from there. Proceed further if-- and just if-- you feel there is an actual friendship aside from, "Can you tell me where the meeting room is?".
Tip 3: Crazy Family members.
Here's a few facts about social networks:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social networks.
So there should be not a surprise that Facebook specifically is not a "kid thing." Lots of older people are reaching out to family members of any ages to link and capture up on the current news in their life. And that's excellent!
However, let's take a look at the case of one Modern Manners Person fan named Angela. She is a devoted "Facebooker" and shares everything with her pals (her words). She jokes that she in fact overshares often. At a current household event, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is Ten Years older. Angela got home and sent out a good friend demand, her cousin accepted, but things went south a week later. Ends up, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's lifestyle. This cousin would send messages informing Angela that she disagreed with her options, her images, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela became Relative Opponent # 1, all since she published swimwear images from her trip to Mexico.
The important things about family members is that they tend to get a free pass when it comes to sharing their viewpoints of you. Friends may keep back, or be more secured with their feelings, however loved ones - male, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the method, I do not believe is fair - but that's a subject for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not appropriately determining your relationship with the individual prior to sending out a good friend request. Friending somebody on Facebook sounds extremely easy: "I like this person-- why not add them?" Nevertheless, we have the tendency to forget that not everyone will value our funny bone or what we share. When we good friend somebody before discovering whether they're on our wavelength, we take the danger of angering them if they do not share our views. Always remember that your innocent post may not be so innocent to somebody with a different outlook on life. Today that you're "pals," they can discuss it.