I definitely enjoy discussing Facebook rules. It always seems to be a questionable subject-- and for great factor. For the life of me I cannot determine why individuals put a lot stock into their Facebook life.
Add Friend On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even composed a post called "Genuine" Buddies vs. Facebook Friends that discussed how developed a few of us get about adding "pals" to our network.
However including good friends to your list is all a part of the Facebook fun, right? Wrong!
It's not a race, it's not a competition, and you shouldn't be too eager to send out a buddy demand to somebody you just met or just spoke to for 7 seconds in the elevator. So, before you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have never ever spoken with but see in the corridor every day - will accept your demand, let's draw back the veil of Facebook friendship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how rapidly you can legitimately buddy someone on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a program of hands, the number of of you have stalked someone on Facebook?
Come on now, I do not see each and every single hand up ... due to the fact that it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you look up a total stranger, or somebody you loosely know, and take a self-guided tour of their page. The picture album entitled "Summer 2013"-- don't mind if I do!
This especially happens when you will go on a date with somebody or have just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about exactly what you prefer to do on the weekends, an idea comes to mind, "Should I friend them?" Then you teeter backward and forward, unsure if you need to make the very first relocation. It resembles a social game of ping pong with one side of your brain stating, "Of course! Go for it, they'll like it!" and the other side saying, "Wait ... I'll look like a stalker."
After a date is over, you generally have a smart idea of whether or not there will be a second date. And therein lies your answer. If you can see this individual being a "buddy"-- either platonically or with advantages - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you believe to yourself, "I'm uncertain I desire to see this person once again," then the answer is probably "No" to including them as a Facebook friend.
Let's be sincere, you won't get an award for having 10,000 good friends on Facebook, and you won't be tossed out for having only 10. If you're fretted about whether to extend a friend demand or not, ensure that you can really call them a friend in the very first location (or a minimum of that they're somebody with pal potential). When you add an individual to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll discover if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every move ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this opting for more than a couple of dates or remaining "simply buddies," then go for it. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their request or extend one yourself. You don't owe a stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Workplace "Good friend".
Facebook in the workplace resembles scuba diving in an old boat wreck-- you never ever know exactly what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Good manners Person Facebook buddy, Mike, who asked me about friending a nice young female named Stephanie, who operates in the cube throughout from him. He said she is amusing, constantly going to assist a fellow coworker, never grumbles about having to burn the midnight oil, and is usually the best colleague. Nevertheless, the something Mike didn't mention was that he's just been at this task for six days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Terrific. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it ends up they have a lot in common. Oh, yeah, other than for one minor information like actually being good friends!
The office is no location to take risks with Facebook. If you are not buddies in reality, you cannot be pals on Facebook. It's that easy. So in Mike's case, I advised him to hold off till he had at least one discussion with Stephanie where they linked on a non-work issues such as food, TV, films, pastimes, and so on. This is where a real friendship comes about. Not simply speaking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I informed him that if Stephanie received his pal request without ever having contact with him before, she would most likely believe 3 things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that guy throughout from me? We're not good friends.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook simply to find me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll know since we see each other every day and it will be uneasy. I do not like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are truly itching to make the "pal" move, begin an enjoyable conversation regularly - in person. As you do this, bring up something about Facebook like, "Oh, examine this out, my good friend simply published the funniest image of his young puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting someplace!
Then, while on the subject of Facebook, don't hesitate to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they respond and attempt to read it from there. Continue even more if-- and just if-- you feel there is a real relationship besides, "Can you tell me where the conference room is?".
Tip 3: Crazy Relatives.
Here's a few realities about social media:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are utilizing social networks.
So there should be not a surprise that Facebook particularly is no longer a "kid thing." Many older individuals are connecting to loved ones of any ages to link and capture up on the latest news in their life. And that's excellent!
However, let's look at the case of one Modern Good manners Person fan called Angela. She is an avid "Facebooker" and shares everything with her buddies (her words). She jokes that she in fact overshares often. At a current family gathering, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is Ten Years older. Angela got house and sent a pal request, her cousin accepted, but things went south a week later. Turns out, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's lifestyle. This cousin would send messages informing Angela that she disagreed with her options, her photos, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela ended up being Household Member Enemy # 1, all because she published swimsuit images from her journey to Mexico.
The thing about relatives is that they have the tendency to get a totally free pass when it comes to sharing their opinions of you. Buddies might hold back, or be more safeguarded with their sensations, but loved ones - guy, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the way, I do not believe is reasonable - but that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not properly determining your relationship with the person before sending a pal request. Friending someone on Facebook sounds extremely easy: "I like this person-- why not add them?" However, we tend to forget that not everyone will value our funny bone or what we share. When we buddy someone prior to finding out whether they're on our wavelength, we take the danger of offending them if they do not share our views. Always keep in mind that your innocent post may not be so innocent to someone with a different outlook on life. And now that you're "good friends," they deserve to discuss it.