I definitely like discussing Facebook rules. It constantly seems to be a controversial subject-- and for excellent factor. For the life of me I can't figure out why individuals put so much stock into their Facebook life.
How To Add Friend On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough currently!
I even wrote a short article called "Real" Pals vs. Facebook Buddies that discussed how worked up some of us get about including "pals" to our network.
However adding buddies to your list is all a part of the Facebook enjoyable, right? Wrong!
It's not a race, it's not a competitors, and you should not be too eager to send out a buddy demand to somebody you simply met or just spoke to for 7 seconds in the elevator. So, before you spend hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer system to see if Beth-- who you have never spoken with but see in the hallway every day - will accept your request, let's draw back the veil of Facebook relationship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legitimately pal someone on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a show of hands, the number of of you have stalked someone on Facebook?
Come on now, I don't see each hand up ... since it needs to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you search for a total stranger, or somebody you loosely understand, and take a self-guided trip of their page. The image album entitled "Summer 2013"-- do not mind if I do!
This specifically happens when you are about to go on a date with someone or have actually just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about what you like to do on the weekends, an idea comes to mind, "Should I good friend them?" Then you teeter back and forth, unsure if you need to make the first move. It's like a social game of ping pong with one side of your brain stating, "Of course! Go for it, they'll like it!" and the opposite stating, "Wait ... I'll appear like a stalker."
After a date is over, you usually have a great idea of whether or not there will be a 2nd date. And therein lies your response. If you can see this person being a "good friend"-- either platonically or with benefits - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you believe to yourself, "I'm not exactly sure I desire to see this person once again," then the answer is probably "No" to adding them as a Facebook pal.
Let's be truthful, you will not get an award for having 10,000 pals on Facebook, and you won't be tossed out for having just 10. If you're stressed over whether to extend a buddy demand or not, ensure that you can really call them a good friend in the very first place (or at least that they're someone with friend potential). When you add an individual to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll discover if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every relocation ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this going for more than a number of dates or remaining "just friends," then go all out. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their request or extend one yourself. You do not owe a stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Office "Good friend".
Facebook in the workplace is like diving in an old boat wreck-- you never understand what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Good manners Guy Facebook pal, Mike, who asked me about friending a good girl named Stephanie, who operates in the cube throughout from him. He said she is funny, always happy to assist a fellow coworker, never complains about needing to work late, and is typically the best colleague. Nevertheless, the something Mike didn't mention was that he's only been at this job for 6 days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Terrific. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it ends up they have a lot in common. Oh, yeah, except for one minor detail like in fact being buddies!
The office is no location to take threats with Facebook. If you are not good friends in real life, you cannot be buddies on Facebook. It's that basic. So in Mike's case, I advised him to hold off up until he had at least one conversation with Stephanie where they linked on a non-work issues such as food, TV, movies, hobbies, and so on. This is where a real relationship happens. Not simply discussing spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie got his pal request without ever having contact with him before, she would most likely think three things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that person across from me? We're not good friends.
- Wait a second, did he look my name up on Facebook just to find me? Ewww.
- If I don't accept he'll understand because we see each other every day and it will be unpleasant. I do not like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are actually itching to make the "good friend" relocation, start a pleasant discussion on a routine basis - in person. As you do this, raise something about Facebook like, "Oh, examine this out, my pal simply published the funniest image of his puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting somewhere!
Then, while on the subject of Facebook, feel complimentary to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they respond and attempt to read it from there. Continue even more if-- and just if-- you feel there is an actual friendship aside from, "Can you tell me where the conference room is?".
Tip 3: Wacky Relatives.
Here's a few truths about social networks:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social media.
So there ought to be not a surprise that Facebook especially is not a "kid thing." Numerous older individuals are reaching out to relatives of all ages to connect and catch up on the newest news in their life. Which's great!
Nevertheless, let's look at the case of one Modern Good manners Man fan called Angela. She is a devoted "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her good friends (her words). She jokes that she in fact overshares often. At a current family event, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is 10 years older. Angela got home and sent a friend demand, her cousin accepted, however things went south a week later on. Ends up, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's lifestyle. This cousin would send messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her options, her photos, her status updates. Unexpectedly, Angela became Family Member Enemy # 1, all because she posted swimsuit images from her trip to Mexico.
The important things about family members is that they tend to get a totally free pass when it comes to sharing their viewpoints of you. Buddies may keep back, or be more protected with their feelings, but relatives - male, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the method, I do not think is fair - however that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not properly measuring your relationship with the individual prior to sending a buddy request. Friending someone on Facebook sounds extremely simple: "I like this person-- why not include them?" However, we tend to forget that not everybody will value our sense of humor or what we share. When we pal someone prior to finding out whether they're on our wavelength, we take the threat of angering them if they do not share our views. Always bear in mind that your innocent post may not be so innocent to someone with a different outlook on life. Now that you're "pals," they have the right to discuss it.