I definitely like discussing Facebook etiquette. It always appears to be a controversial topic-- and for good factor. For the life of me I can't figure out why people put a lot stock into their Facebook life.
How Do I Add A Friend On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough currently!
I even wrote a post called "Real" Buddies vs. Facebook Buddies that discussed how worked up a few of us get about including "good friends" to our network.
However including good friends to your list is all a part of the Facebook enjoyable, right? Incorrect!
It's not a race, it's not a competition, and you should not be too eager to send out a buddy request to somebody you just satisfied or just talked with for 7 seconds in the elevator. So, before you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have never talked to but see in the corridor every day - will accept your request, let's draw back the veil of Facebook friendship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legitimately good friend somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a program of hands, how many of you have stalked somebody on Facebook?
Come on now, I don't see each and every single hand up ... due to the fact that it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you look up a complete stranger, or someone you loosely know, and take a self-guided trip of their page. The photo album entitled "Summer 2013"-- don't mind if I do!
This particularly occurs when you will go on a date with somebody or have actually just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about exactly what you prefer to do on the weekends, a thought enters your mind, "Should I buddy them?" Then you teeter back and forth, uncertain if you need to make the very first relocation. It's like a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain saying, "Obviously! Go for it, they'll enjoy it!" and the other side stating, "Wait ... I'll appear like a stalker."
After a date is over, you generally have a great idea of whether there will be a 2nd date. And therein lies your answer. If you can see this person being a "good friend"-- either platonically or with benefits - then it's a yes. However, if you think to yourself, "I'm uncertain I wish to see this person once again," then the answer is probably "No" to adding them as a Facebook friend.
Let's be truthful, you will not get an award for having 10,000 friends on Facebook, and you will not be tossed out for having only 10. If you're fretted about whether to extend a good friend demand or not, ensure that you can genuinely call them a friend in the first place (or at least that they're somebody with good friend capacity). When you add a person to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll find out if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every move ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this going for more than a number of dates or remaining "simply pals," then go for it. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You do not owe a complete stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Workplace "Friend".
Facebook in the workplace resembles scuba diving in an old boat wreck-- you never ever understand what freaky things you'll find around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Good manners Man Facebook friend, Mike, who asked me about friending a nice girl named Stephanie, who works in the cube across from him. He said she is funny, always ready to assist a fellow coworker, never complains about having to work late, and is usually the best coworker. Nevertheless, the one thing Mike didn't point out was that he's just been at this task for six days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Fantastic. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it turns out they have a lot in typical. Oh, yeah, other than for one minor detail like in fact being pals!
The workplace is no place to take risks with Facebook. If you are not pals in reality, you cannot be good friends on Facebook. It's that easy. So in Mike's case, I recommended him to hold off till he had at least one discussion with Stephanie where they connected on a non-work issues such as food, TELEVISION, movies, hobbies, and so on. This is where a genuine friendship comes about. Not simply speaking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie received his buddy request without ever having contact with him before, she would probably think three things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that person throughout from me? We're not pals.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook just to discover me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll know due to the fact that we see each other every day and it will be uncomfortable. I do not like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are really itching to make the "pal" relocation, start an enjoyable discussion regularly - personally. As you do this, bring up something about Facebook like, "Oh, inspect this out, my good friend simply posted the funniest image of his young puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting somewhere!
Then, while on the topic of Facebook, don't hesitate to inquire about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they react and attempt to read it from there. Continue further if-- and just if-- you feel there is a real relationship besides, "Can you inform me where the meeting room is?".
Tip 3: Crazy Family members.
Here's a number of truths about social networks:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social media.
So there need to be no surprise that Facebook particularly is no longer a "kid thing." Many older people are connecting to family members of all ages to connect and catch up on the current news in their life. And that's excellent!
However, let's look at the case of one Modern Manners Person fan called Angela. She is a passionate "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her pals (her words). She jokes that she actually overshares sometimes. At a current family gathering, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is Ten Years older. Angela got house and sent a friend demand, her cousin accepted, but things went south a week later. Ends up, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's way of life. This cousin would send out messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her options, her photos, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela ended up being Relative Opponent # 1, all due to the fact that she published bathing fit pictures from her journey to Mexico.
The thing about relatives is that they have the tendency to get a complimentary pass when it pertains to sharing their viewpoints of you. Friends may hold back, or be more protected with their feelings, but loved ones - male, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the way, I do not believe is reasonable - however that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not appropriately measuring your relationship with the person before sending out a good friend demand. Friending someone on Facebook sounds very easy: "I like this person-- why not include them?" Nevertheless, we have the tendency to forget that not everyone will value our sense of humor or what we share. When we good friend somebody prior to discovering whether or not they're on our wavelength, we take the risk of offending them if they don't share our views. Always remember that your innocent post may not be so innocent to somebody with a different outlook on life. Now that you're "friends," they can discuss it.