I definitely like speaking about Facebook rules. It constantly seems to be a controversial subject-- and for great reason. For the life of me I cannot find out why people put a lot stock into their Facebook life.
How To Add Friends On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even wrote a post called "Real" Buddies vs. Facebook Friends that went over how worked up a few of us get about including "good friends" to our network.
But adding good friends to your list is all a part of the Facebook enjoyable, right? Incorrect!
It's not a race, it's not a competition, and you should not be too eager to send a friend demand to someone you simply satisfied or just talked to for seven seconds in the elevator. So, prior to you spend hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have never spoken with however see in the corridor every day - will accept your demand, let's pull back the veil of Facebook relationship.
Here are my leading 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legitimately good friend somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a program of hands, the number of of you have stalked somebody on Facebook?
Begin now, I don't see each and every single hand up ... since it needs to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you search for a total stranger, or somebody you loosely understand, and take a self-guided trip of their page. The photo album entitled "Summer 2013"-- don't mind if I do!
This particularly occurs when you will go on a date with somebody or have actually just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about what you like to do on the weekends, an idea enters your mind, "Should I good friend them?" Then you teeter backward and forward, uncertain if you should make the first move. It's like a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain stating, "Obviously! Go for it, they'll love it!" and the opposite saying, "Wait ... I'll appear like a stalker."
After a date is over, you generally have a great idea of whether or not there will be a second date. And therein lies your response. If you can see this individual being a "friend"-- either platonically or with benefits - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you believe to yourself, "I'm not exactly sure I want to see this individual again," then the response is most likely "No" to adding them as a Facebook buddy.
Let's be sincere, you won't get an award for having 10,000 buddies on Facebook, and you will not be kicked out for having only 10. If you're fretted about whether to extend a friend demand or not, make sure that you can really call them a buddy in the very first location (or a minimum of that they're somebody with friend potential). When you add an individual to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll discover out if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every relocation ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this choosing more than a couple of dates or staying "just pals," then go all out. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You don't owe a complete stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Office "Friend".
Facebook in the workplace resembles diving in an old boat wreck-- you never know exactly what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Manners Man Facebook buddy, Mike, who asked me about friending a great young woman named Stephanie, who works in the cube across from him. He said she is amusing, always willing to assist out a fellow colleague, never ever grumbles about having to burn the midnight oil, and is usually the ideal colleague. Nevertheless, the one thing Mike didn't mention was that he's only been at this task for 6 days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Fantastic. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it ends up they have a lot in common. Oh, yeah, other than for one minor information like really being friends!
The office is no location to take threats with Facebook. If you are not pals in reality, you can't be pals on Facebook. It's that easy. So in Mike's case, I advised him to hold back until he had at least one discussion with Stephanie where they linked on a non-work issues such as food, TV, films, hobbies, and so on. This is where a real relationship happens. Not simply talking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie received his good friend request without ever having contact with him before, she would more than likely believe 3 things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that guy throughout from me? We're not buddies.
- Wait a second, did he look my name up on Facebook simply to find me? Ewww.
- If I don't accept he'll know because we see each other every day and it will be uneasy. I do not like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are truly itching to make the "buddy" relocation, begin an enjoyable discussion on a regular basis - personally. As you do this, bring up something about Facebook like, "Oh, inspect this out, my pal simply published the funniest image of his young puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting someplace!
Then, while on the topic of Facebook, do not hesitate to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they respond and attempt to read it from there. Proceed further if-- and just if-- you feel there is an actual friendship besides, "Can you inform me where the conference space is?".
Tip 3: Crazy Relatives.
Here's a number of realities about social media:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social media.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social networks.
So there should be no surprise that Facebook particularly is no longer a "kid thing." Many older individuals are connecting to relatives of all ages to connect and capture up on the most current news in their life. And that's great!
Nevertheless, let's look at the case of one Modern Good manners Man fan named Angela. She is a passionate "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her buddies (her words). She jokes that she really overshares in some cases. At a current household event, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is 10 years older. Angela got house and sent out a good friend request, her cousin accepted, however things went south a week later. Turns out, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's way of life. This cousin would send messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her choices, her images, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela became Family Member Enemy # 1, all due to the fact that she posted swimwear images from her trip to Mexico.
The thing about relatives is that they have the tendency to get a complimentary pass when it pertains to sharing their viewpoints of you. Friends might hold back, or be more safeguarded with their sensations, however relatives - man, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the way, I do not think is fair - but that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not effectively determining your relationship with the individual before sending out a buddy demand. Friending somebody on Facebook sounds very simple: "I like this person-- why not add them?" Nevertheless, we tend to forget that not everybody will value our sense of humor or what we share. When we friend somebody before discovering whether they're on our wavelength, we take the threat of offending them if they do not share our views. Always keep in mind that your innocent post may not be so innocent to someone with a various outlook on life. But now that you're "good friends," they deserve to talk about it.