I absolutely love speaking about Facebook etiquette. It constantly appears to be a questionable topic-- and for excellent factor. For the life of me I can't determine why individuals put a lot stock into their Facebook life.
Add Friends On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough currently!
I even wrote a post called "Genuine" Pals vs. Facebook Buddies that discussed how developed some of us get about adding "friends" to our network.
But including good friends to your list is all a part of the Facebook enjoyable, right? Wrong!
It's not a race, it's not a competitors, and you shouldn't be too excited to send out a buddy demand to somebody you just met or only spoke with for seven seconds in the elevator. So, prior to you spend hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer system to see if Beth-- who you have never spoken to but see in the hallway every day - will accept your request, let's pull back the veil of Facebook relationship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how rapidly you can legally pal somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Romance
Okay class, by a program of hands, the number of of you have stalked somebody on Facebook?
Come on now, I do not see each hand up ... because it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you look up a total stranger, or someone you loosely know, and take a self-guided tour of their page. The photo album entitled "Summertime 2013"-- do not mind if I do!
This specifically occurs when you are about to go on a date with somebody or have simply gone a very first date. So as you're exchanging stories about exactly what you like to do on the weekends, an idea enters your mind, "Should I friend them?" Then you teeter back and forth, not sure if you need to make the first relocation. It resembles a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain saying, "Of course! Go all out, they'll like it!" and the other side saying, "Wait ... I'll look like a stalker."
After a date is over, you usually have a great idea of whether there will be a second date. And therein lies your response. If you can see this individual being a "pal"-- either platonically or with advantages - then it's a yes. However, if you think to yourself, "I'm uncertain I wish to see this person once again," then the response is most likely "No" to adding them as a Facebook buddy.
Let's be truthful, you will not get an award for having 10,000 good friends on Facebook, and you will not be tossed out for having just 10. If you're fretted about whether to extend a good friend request or not, make certain that you can really call them a pal in the first location (or a minimum of that they're someone with good friend capacity). When you add an individual to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll learn if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's made complex" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every move ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this choosing more than a couple of dates or staying "just friends," then go all out. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You do not owe a stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Workplace "Buddy".
Facebook in the workplace resembles scuba diving in an old boat wreck-- you never understand what freaky things you'll discover around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Manners Guy Facebook buddy, Mike, who asked me about friending a good young woman called Stephanie, who works in the cube across from him. He said she is amusing, constantly ready to help out a fellow colleague, never ever complains about needing to burn the midnight oil, and is usually the perfect coworker. However, the one thing Mike didn't point out was that he's only been at this job for six days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Fantastic. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it turns out they have a lot in common. Oh, yeah, other than for one small detail like in fact being friends!
The workplace is no location to take risks with Facebook. If you are not good friends in reality, you cannot be buddies on Facebook. It's that easy. So in Mike's case, I encouraged him to hold off until he had at least one conversation with Stephanie where they connected on a non-work issues such as food, TV, films, hobbies, and so on. This is where a real relationship comes about. Not just discussing spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie got his friend demand without ever having contact with him in the past, she would probably think 3 things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that person throughout from me? We're not buddies.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook simply to discover me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll understand due to the fact that we see each other every day and it will be uncomfortable. I don't like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are really itching to make the "pal" relocation, begin a pleasant conversation on a regular basis - face to face. As you do this, bring up something about Facebook like, "Oh, examine this out, my friend just published the funniest image of his puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting somewhere!
Then, while on the topic of Facebook, do not hesitate to ask about whether the person is on it or not. See how they respond and attempt to read it from there. Proceed further if-- and just if-- you feel there is a real relationship aside from, "Can you inform me where the conference room is?".
Tip 3: Crazy Family members.
Here's a number of truths about social networks:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social media.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social media.
So there should be not a surprise that Facebook especially is no longer a "kid thing." Lots of older individuals are connecting to relatives of all ages to connect and catch up on the most recent news in their life. Which's excellent!
However, let's take a look at the case of one Modern Good manners Guy fan called Angela. She is an avid "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her pals (her words). She jokes that she actually overshares in some cases. At a recent household event, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is Ten Years older. Angela got house and sent a pal demand, her cousin accepted, however things went south a week later. Turns out, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's lifestyle. This cousin would send out messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her options, her photos, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela ended up being Member of the family Opponent # 1, all because she posted swimwear photos from her journey to Mexico.
The thing about family members is that they tend to get a free pass when it comes to sharing their viewpoints of you. Buddies might keep back, or be more secured with their sensations, but relatives - male, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the way, I do not think is reasonable - however that's a topic for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not correctly measuring your relationship with the person before sending a good friend request. Friending someone on Facebook sounds really easy: "I like this person-- why not add them?" Nevertheless, we tend to forget that not everyone will value our funny bone or exactly what we share. When we pal someone prior to finding out whether they're on our wavelength, we take the risk of upseting them if they don't share our views. Always bear in mind that your innocent post may not be so innocent to someone with a various outlook on life. And now that you're "buddies," they can discuss it.