I definitely like speaking about Facebook rules. It constantly seems to be a questionable topic-- and for great factor. For the life of me I cannot figure out why individuals put so much stock into their Facebook life.
How To Add People On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even wrote a post called "Genuine" Pals vs. Facebook Buddies that talked about how worked up a few of us get about including "buddies" to our network.
But adding buddies to your list is all a part of the Facebook enjoyable, right? Wrong!
It's not a race, it's not a competitors, and you should not be too eager to send out a good friend request to someone you simply fulfilled or just spoke with for 7 seconds in the elevator. So, before you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have actually never ever talked to however see in the corridor every day - will accept your demand, let's pull back the veil of Facebook friendship.
Here are my leading 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legitimately friend somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a show of hands, how many of you have stalked someone on Facebook?
Come on now, I don't see every hand up ... since it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you look up a complete stranger, or someone you loosely know, and take a self-guided trip of their page. The photo album entitled "Summer season 2013"-- don't mind if I do!
This specifically takes place when you are about to go on a date with someone or have simply gone a very first date. So as you're exchanging stories about what you prefer to do on the weekends, a thought comes to mind, "Should I good friend them?" Then you teeter back and forth, unsure if you need to make the very first relocation. It's like a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain saying, "Naturally! Go for it, they'll like it!" and the other side saying, "Wait ... I'll appear like a stalker."
After a date is over, you normally have a great idea of whether there will be a 2nd date. And therein lies your answer. If you can see this person being a "friend"-- either platonically or with advantages - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you believe to yourself, "I'm not sure I want to see this person once again," then the response is probably "No" to including them as a Facebook pal.
Let's be truthful, you won't get an award for having 10,000 buddies on Facebook, and you won't be tossed out for having just 10. If you're stressed over whether to extend a pal demand or not, ensure that you can really call them a friend in the first place (or a minimum of that they're someone with pal potential). When you include a person to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll find out if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's made complex" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every relocation ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this going for more than a couple of dates or remaining "simply friends," then go all out. However, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You don't owe a complete stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Office "Friend".
Facebook in the workplace is like scuba diving in an old boat wreck-- you never know exactly what freaky things you'll find around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Manners Person Facebook pal, Mike, who asked me about friending a great young female named Stephanie, who operates in the cube across from him. He stated she is amusing, constantly happy to assist out a fellow coworker, never grumbles about needing to burn the midnight oil, and is usually the ideal colleague. Nevertheless, the something Mike didn't mention was that he's only been at this job for 6 days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Wonderful. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it ends up they have a lot in typical. Oh, yeah, other than for one minor information like actually being friends!
The office is no location to take risks with Facebook. If you are not good friends in reality, you cannot be pals on Facebook. It's that basic. So in Mike's case, I advised him to hold back till he had at least one discussion with Stephanie where they connected on a non-work concerns such as food, TV, films, pastimes, and so on. This is where a genuine relationship happens. Not just speaking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I told him that if Stephanie received his friend demand without ever having contact with him previously, she would most likely think 3 things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that man across from me? We're not pals.
- Wait a second, did he look my name up on Facebook just to find me? Ewww.
- If I do not accept he'll know due to the fact that we see each other every day and it will be uncomfortable. I don't like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are truly itching to make the "friend" move, start a pleasant conversation regularly - personally. As you do this, raise something about Facebook like, "Oh, inspect this out, my good friend just published the funniest photo of his puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting someplace!
Then, while on the topic of Facebook, feel complimentary to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they react and aim to read it from there. Proceed even more if-- and only if-- you feel there is a real friendship aside from, "Can you tell me where the conference room is?".
Tip 3: Wacky Loved ones.
Here's a number of facts about social media:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social networks.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are utilizing social networks.
So there need to be not a surprise that Facebook specifically is no longer a "kid thing." Many older people are reaching out to family members of any ages to connect and catch up on the most current news in their life. Which's terrific!
Nevertheless, let's look at the case of one Modern Good manners Guy fan called Angela. She is an avid "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her pals (her words). She jokes that she really overshares sometimes. At a recent household gathering, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is 10 years older. Angela got house and sent a buddy demand, her cousin accepted, however things went south a week later. Ends up, her cousin was not a big fan of Angela's way of life. This cousin would send out messages informing Angela that she disagreed with her choices, her pictures, her status updates. All of a sudden, Angela ended up being Relative Opponent # 1, all because she posted bathing suit photos from her trip to Mexico.
The important things about relatives is that they have the tendency to get a totally free pass when it comes to sharing their opinions of you. Friends may hold back, or be more safeguarded with their sensations, however family members - guy, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the method, I do not think is reasonable - however that's a subject for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not correctly measuring your relationship with the person prior to sending out a buddy request. Friending somebody on Facebook sounds really easy: "I like this individual-- why not add them?" Nevertheless, we tend to forget that not everyone will appreciate our sense of humor or what we share. When we friend someone before learning whether or not they're on our wavelength, we take the risk of angering them if they do not share our views. Always remember that your innocent post might not be so innocent to someone with a different outlook on life. Today that you're "pals," they can comment on it.