I definitely love discussing Facebook rules. It constantly seems to be a questionable subject-- and for excellent reason. For the life of me I can't find out why individuals put a lot stock into their Facebook life.
How To Add Someone On Facebook
" Did you see my status today? Why didn't you see my status? When will you Like my status?"
Yeesh, enough already!
I even composed an article called "Real" Buddies vs. Facebook Buddies that talked about how developed a few of us get about including "pals" to our network.
However adding pals to your list is all a part of the Facebook fun, right? Incorrect!
It's not a race, it's not a competitors, and you shouldn't be too excited to send out a friend demand to somebody you simply satisfied or just talked to for seven seconds in the elevator. So, before you invest hours waiting anxiously in front of your computer to see if Beth-- who you have actually never ever spoken to but see in the hallway every day - will accept your demand, let's draw back the veil of Facebook relationship.
Here are my top 3 Quick and Dirty Tips on how quickly you can legally buddy somebody on Facebook:
Tip 1: The New Love
Okay class, by a program of hands, how many of you have stalked someone on Facebook?
Begin now, I don't see each hand up ... because it ought to be.
Facebook stalking (in the safe/non-threatening sense) is when you search for a complete stranger, or somebody you loosely understand, and take a self-guided tour of their page. The image album entitled "Summertime 2013"-- don't mind if I do!
This particularly occurs when you will go on a date with someone or have actually just gone a first date. So as you're exchanging stories about exactly what you like to do on the weekends, an idea comes to mind, "Should I pal them?" Then you teeter backward and forward, unsure if you ought to make the first relocation. It's like a social video game of ping pong with one side of your brain saying, "Of course! Go all out, they'll enjoy it!" and the opposite saying, "Wait ... I'll look like a stalker."
After a date is over, you generally have a good idea of whether or not there will be a second date. And therein lies your answer. If you can see this individual being a "good friend"-- either platonically or with benefits - then it's a yes. Nevertheless, if you believe to yourself, "I'm uncertain I wish to see this person again," then the answer is probably "No" to including them as a Facebook buddy.
Let's be sincere, you won't get an award for having 10,000 pals on Facebook, and you won't be kicked out for having only 10. If you're fretted about whether to extend a friend request or not, make sure that you can truly call them a buddy in the first location (or at least that they're somebody with good friend potential). When you include an individual to your facebook circle, they'll see everything you do. They'll discover if you're "in a relationship" and if you put "it's complicated" as your status while dating them. They have access to your every move ... awwwwkward.
So if you see this choosing more than a number of dates or staying "just friends," then go all out. Nevertheless, if there is any doubt, do not feel obligated to accept their demand or extend one yourself. You don't owe a complete stranger a window into your social life.
Tip 2: The Workplace "Pal".
Facebook in the office is like diving in an old boat wreck-- you never know exactly what freaky things you'll find around each dark turn when you dig deep enough.
Take one Modern Manners Man Facebook pal, Mike, who asked me about friending a great young woman called Stephanie, who works in the cube across from him. He said she is funny, constantly ready to assist out a fellow colleague, never complains about needing to burn the midnight oil, and is normally the best coworker. Nevertheless, the one thing Mike didn't point out was that he's only been at this job for six days and has yet to utter a single word to Miss Wonderful. He looked her up on Facebook (Stalker, table for one!) and it turns out they have a lot in typical. Oh, yeah, other than for one minor information like really being buddies!
The office is no location to take dangers with Facebook. If you are not pals in reality, you can't be pals on Facebook. It's that basic. So in Mike's case, I encouraged him to hold back till he had at least one conversation with Stephanie where they linked on a non-work concerns such as food, TV, motion pictures, pastimes, etc. This is where a real relationship comes about. Not just talking about spreadsheets or conferences.
I informed him that if Stephanie got his good friend request without ever having contact with him in the past, she would most likely believe three things:.
- Mike - who is Mike? Oh, wait, is it that man throughout from me? We're not good friends.
- Wait a 2nd, did he look my name up on Facebook just to find me? Ewww.
- If I don't accept he'll know since we see each other every day and it will be unpleasant. I don't like him for putting me in this position.
See where I'm going here?
If you are really itching to make the "buddy" move, begin a pleasant discussion on a routine basis - personally. As you do this, bring up something about Facebook like, "Oh, examine this out, my friend just published the funniest photo of his puppy on Facebook." Now we're getting somewhere!
Then, while on the topic of Facebook, feel complimentary to ask about whether the individual is on it or not. See how they respond and attempt to read it from there. Continue further if-- and only if-- you feel there is an actual relationship other than, "Can you tell me where the conference space is?".
Tip 3: Wacky Family members.
Here's a number of realities about social networks:.
- 60% of 50-60-year-olds are active on social media.
- in the 65+ bracket, 43% are using social media.
So there should be no surprise that Facebook specifically is no longer a "kid thing." Many older individuals are reaching out to loved ones of all ages to link and catch up on the most recent news in their life. And that's fantastic!
However, let's take a look at the case of one Modern Manners Guy fan called Angela. She is a passionate "Facebooker" and shares whatever with her pals (her words). She jokes that she in fact overshares often. At a recent family gathering, Angela reconnected with a cousin who is Ten Years older. Angela got home and sent a buddy request, her cousin accepted, however things went south a week later. Turns out, her cousin was not a huge fan of Angela's way of life. This cousin would send messages telling Angela that she disagreed with her choices, her images, her status updates. Unexpectedly, Angela ended up being Member of the family Enemy # 1, all due to the fact that she posted bathing suit photos from her journey to Mexico.
The thing about family members is that they tend to get a free pass when it concerns sharing their opinions of you. Friends may hold back, or be more guarded with their sensations, but loved ones - male, oh man, they have less of a buffer (which, by the method, I do not think is reasonable - but that's a subject for another episode).
For Angela, this is a case of not properly determining your relationship with the individual prior to sending out a pal demand. Friending someone on Facebook sounds very easy: "I like this individual-- why not include them?" Nevertheless, we tend to forget that not everybody will value our funny bone or what we share. When we good friend somebody prior to discovering whether or not they're on our wavelength, we take the risk of offending them if they don't share our views. Always keep in mind that your innocent post may not be so innocent to someone with a different outlook on life. Today that you're "friends," they deserve to talk about it.